Break Out The Crazy
Yesterday I have a bit of a freak out and unfortunately my little pup Einstein was on the other side of it. Potty training the new pup has been pretty rough and lately it feels like he’s taken a big step backwards — peeing inside every day and on the couch three nights in a row — oh no….
Yesterday I went back to my bedroom to fetch my shoes so I could take Einstein outside to potty and as I come out, he stares at me, then pees right in front of me, inches from the toe of my boots. I lost it. I admit it. I got really mad.
In the midst of my anger I grabbed his leash, which swung back and hit me in the lip…. oh no….
I scooped Einstein up and grabbed my other dog Alice to go outside, and I tasted blood on my lip. When I touched it, my fingers showed blood…. and lots of it.
When I came back inside, my lip bleeding and dogs in tow, my husband could only laugh at me. At the time I was not ready to laugh back.
I was pissed that my lip was bust open and that there was yet another big ‘ol pee spot on the floor — all within minutes of me getting home from a long day at work.
Stressful, Sleepless Days
As my tongue passes over my puffy lip today, I am reminded of the effects of my own anger on myself in a literal, physical manner. Why did I freak out like that?
I realize that my antics were a result of stress.
I reminded myself (and my husband) that Einstein is just a little pup, not even four months old and that he is still learning. I can not just expect him to get it. The potty training process requires patience 🙂
I have a lot going on in my life lately and have been feeling quite overwhelmed. I’ve committed to doing different projects, classes, proposals, etc all amidst my full time job. I rise early to work a full day and the hours after work have been packed full up until the last minute before my head hits the pillow.
I stayed up way too late almost every night this week, unable to turn off my mind and stress with all the things that I need to get done. When my alarm sounded in the morning I hit the snooze instead of getting up to do my daily, stress reducing practices — yoga and/or meditation.
I know that this cycle of stress and lack of sleep has likely raised cortisol levels in my body, which opens up for more stress in the body and hormonal imbalance.
I am close to starting my period and definitely feeling the effects of my choices and mental mind set this week. I am feeling crampy, achy…. exhausted.
Chill Out Girl!
I’ve struggled for a long time finding time to relax. I feel like I always have to be productive, always have to be doing something. I like to help others, so I often say “yes” and “I will get it done”, overcommitting my efforts.
I believe that by pushing myself to the edge, I’ve created stress on both my body and mind.
Well no more — tonight I am choosing to listen to my body (which is now screaming at me) — to rest. Relax. Stop WORKING. LOL.
I am committing to doing something I love (writing), with a free flow of ideas…. being creative …. and finding time to squeeze in a little of ….. nothing at all! 🙂
I am writing this blog — simply me — right now. Not spending a ton of time editing (like my perfection nature wants to), nor going in depth into the research I’ve recently found.
Just writing my thoughts — such a release 🙂
And….
I am NOT working after this…. LOL. (OK STOP editing this Aubree!)
On the Positive Side?
While this week has been stressful, it has also been exciting. I officially registered my web design business – top of mind design – YAY! This has been brewing in my mind for the past five years or so, as I’ve continued to develop and learn new skills.
A design job was presented to me a month or so ago and I just completed the project this week and was paid! Wow. It feels good to contribute towards a piece of my own work and creativity in a way that will only benefit and grow a local business.
The possibility of making a full time living owning my own business is what keeps me working hard and keeping hopeful that it will all pay off some day 🙂
This week has taught me that stress and no sleep mix together to form a ticking time bomb …. that is dangerous for anyone on the other side of it. While I cannot change what happened this week, I know that I cannot make a habit of this life style.
I understand that my body needs rest, that my body needs sleep. I need time for fun and time to do the things that I love.
So I’m off to do just that (even though writing to you is a love).
I hope you are having a pain free day and finding your peace amidst the chaos of every day (potty-training) life 🙂
Much Love.
