Every day when I go to work I take the stairs up to the fourth floor where I resign to ten hours in my cubicle. These steps add up to 100.
Regardless of my condition or what I may be carrying, I still take the stairs everyday. There are times when I feel energized and take each step with no problems and there are other times where I am tired and have to stop to rest with pants of breath.
My time in the stairs each morning provides me a quiet area where it is just me. Sometimes my thoughts are only of ascending the stairs for work and other times I reflect on other happenings.
Yesterday morning I woke up with severe feelings of overwhelm. I felt like I had so much to do. I am working on making my health coaching practice a reality and all that is involved in the business set up created feelings of anxiety that reflected in my body and mind. Will I ever get there?
In addition, overwhelm crept in as my mind swirled with my health issues — my infertility and my darned thyroid that had struck again in waves of unbeatable fatigue that made me want to go home and crawl right back into bed.
These feelings mixed with frustration that I had yet to find a medical professional to help guide me through my health concerns (in a natural way). My successes thus far have been based on my own research and experimentations to get better. But sometimes I just want guidance. This alone feeling is overwhelming in and of itself.
There were times yesterday where I escaped to the bathroom stall so that my tears could flow freely. I felt kind of out of control. Everything magnified in a far worse light than reality. What was wrong with me?
It only took a brief glance at my monthly calendar where I chart my cycles to answer his question. Ah yes — overwhelming ovulation. Like clockwork anxiety always triggers in me prior to ovulation. I am assuming this has to do with the peak levels of estrogen in my body.
Regardless of the awareness as to why I was feeling this way, I was unable to gain a grip yesterday. When I got home from work the first thing I did was crash on the couch under a cozy blanket where I slipped into somewhat of a sleep (between interruptions of puppy kisses).
If nothing else — sleep (and puppy kisses) always seem to help 🙂
Step by Step…
As I ascended the stairs again this morning my mind was more still, but my body was super tired. I watched as my feet took each step up. One by one. And listened to the echo of each step bounce off the gray concrete walls around me.
While I was surely tired, what other choice did I have but to keep moving forward? Each step up was slow, but eventually I made it up 100 steps — not in a single bound but step by step.
My stair case journey made me reflect on my anxiety yesterday and was a visual reminder of what I needed to do on my journey to a new, exciting business and continuation of my important journey to healing….
I have to take it step by step.
Sometimes this is difficult especially when pain (or overwhelming fatigue) is present. I want to feel better — now. And natural healing is a slower journey. It takes time to rebuild. It takes time to heal. But small steps, each one growing on the next eventually lead to a higher place.
Step by step I am working on what needs to be done to make my coaching practice a reality so that I may help women with the pain of endometriosis heal… naturally. So less women feel alone on their journey.
Step by step my daily food choices and self care practices build a foundation for less pain and renew a womb that one day may be the home to a beautiful young soul. Step by step I move forward.
On The Positive Side?
Today I am feeling much more calm and better collected. This may be due to the Ashwagandha tincture I added to my water this morning. (Ashwagandha is an Ayurvedic herb that combats stress and anxiety).
Or it may be because I spent some time last night (after my power nap) to prepare and organize all the forms for my coaching practice. I definitely find benefits with stress reduction and organization 🙂
I plan to launch my health coaching practice in December. More on this to come.
Until next time. Keep stepping forward…