Removing “My”…
I watched a video recently from the wise spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, where he talked about the significance of relations we make with dis-ease in a mental framework. He explained how constant dwelling about endometriosis (or any other chronic condition) can keep its place in our minds.
This constant attention strengthens the “illness mind form” and we start to associate ourselves as someone who suffers from endometriosis. It becomes a part of us. It becomes an identity of sorts. Constantly thinking this way can create fear and other unpleasant feelings.
This made me think about my own association with endometriosis, which became apparent to me recently within the writings of my book when my wonderful editor pointed out the use of my words “my” in front of “endometriosis” and how in her own healing journey she refrained from this attachment.
As I re-read the draft, I noticed continual instances of these written words… “my endometriosis”.
When I defined this dis-ease as “mine”, this ultimately made it harder to become truly free of it. When I referred to it as being a part of me, then it became just that. There was no escaping.
These thoughts inevitably lead to further unpleasantness, and with a painful condition like endometriosis in play, these thoughts can lead to feelings of hopelessness.
Once this was pointed out to me I corrected this association and removed the “my” from the equation in my written words, spoken words, and words of thought 🙂
You Cannot Find Peace If You Are Always “Fighting”
Another choice of words I’ve been made aware of in my journey to healing was my usage of “fighting” endo. In fact, the tag line that I used on this blog in the past (and printed on the back of my business cards) was “fighting the pain, finding peace, sharing hope.”
It was pointed out to me through other discoveries along the way that “fighting” and “peace” do not fit together. With fighting comes resistance. With fighting comes pain.
In truth… with love and acceptance comes peace.
In turn, I changed my words “fighting the pain” to “acknowledging the pain” because I believe that’s what I’ve done. I’ve acknowledged the pain when it was present, which in turn has made me more aware of both myself and painful triggers.
Eckhart Tolle talks more about this and how many dis-eases that make their way into our lives can actually be a source of awakening. I see the pain now as a message that something was out of balance, which has prompted further evaluation and exploration.
On the Positive Side?
The discoveries into how I’ve expressed endometriosis as “mine” were quite eye-opening for me. As I continue on this journey and continue to write in this blog it’s difficult sometimes to not focus on endometriosis (it is the main topic after all!)
But I’ve learned that I don’t have to make this condition a part of me, and I no longer need to “fight” it.
Your mind is a very powerful thing. And how much more powerful to be able to change our perspectives and how we associate with endometriosis. A simple re-framing detaches endo from being a part of us. Instead it simply becomes an imbalance that needs to be addressed.
A simple shift from fighting to finding peace.
I encourage you to take a look at how you relate to endometriosis. Do you use the word “my” or “mine”? Do you feel like you are “fighting” this dis-ease?
I’d love to hear your thoughts….
Much Love,
Aubree.
This is such an interesting take on living with endometriosis. It totally makes sense though. Of anything that you can take and make a part of you, I would imagine this is one thing we wouldn’t want to attach to. Great post!
Thanks Cathy 🙂
This is very thought provoking! I never really though much of how people take ownership of their ailments. I know it is something that you have to live with every day, but I think there is some truth in not inviting it to become who you are. It makes me wonder how many other unpleasant things we take ownership of? Definitely opened my eyes! 🙂
Very true Ashlie. Glad it was a help 🙂
Very interesting post, I have endometriosis and have been thinking about this idea for some time as well. When I talk about my experience with endometriosis with my family or friends I found I often said “my condition”. I think it’s the idea that they don’t have this disease and that they can’t understand the pain I’m experiencing and I wish they could have some sort of empathy, but I think also that I don’t want them to feel that this is their burden and that I don’t want to feel like I need to depend on them on my bad days. But I think for all the people that have supported me during my treatment and experience with endometriosis in general, they would agree that it’s not just “my” endometriosis, they have all been along for the ride with me. The experience just so happens to be about my body. I have been trying to keep this in mind when I fall into that mindset of “this is such a battle, why does my body do this to me? why do I have to plan my life around this disease?”. I try to remember that my support network live with this disease as long as they live with me, it’s not just my endometriosis. I completely agree that our attitude and mentality towards any disease can have a huge impact.
Hi Annie – Thanks for your insights. I agree that endo impacts others in our lives and I completely relate to trying to get others to understand the depths of this condition. It’s been really helpful for me to connect with other ladies with endo, who understand. I did start a private group on Facebook called Finding Peace With Endo made up of other positive women with endo. If you’re interested, would love to connect further there 🙂