I started writing to-do lists again. Why? Because most days I feel like I don’t come close to getting done all that I want to.
So…I write out all the things that I need to get done, all that takes up space in my mind.
And I’ve noticed that it’s always such a long list!
I wrote one out tonight with over ten items on it – to be done in the four hours I have from work to bed. Ha. I set the list aside and after three hours I only had two items crossed off… and my body was beat.
I think I can do it all.
I admit that this past month I’ve let a lot of habits slip – habits that are a key part of my self-care needs.
And I’m feeling it tonight.
After reviewing that long list all I wanted to do was lie down with my heating pad.
My body hurt.
And this started to frustrate me. I had so much to get done. Don’t break down on me today.
This brought up a wave of emotions.
I had a thought earlier today (before I wrote the long list) that I needed to take time to relax. My period is only days away. This is a vulnerable time – to slow down.
Regardless of this thought, there was something missing from the list: rest and relaxation.
It all comes down to choices doesn’t it?
I felt all those choices I made to “cheat” with the food that went into my body, all the times I chose a social media session over taking time for meditation, or stayed up late working on a project, instead of giving my body much needed rest.
And you know… the choice to lie down is fine.
Yes the grass is long and full of weeds. Yes the shelves are dusty. Yes the dishes and laundry are piling up. I learned tonight that sometimes the best choice is to turn away from the mess.
It really isn’t the end of the world when it doesn’t all get done 🙂
The Spoon Theory
I couldn’t help but relate this experience to The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino. The visual “spoon” explanation makes it easier to convey to others the physical, exhaustive consequences of living with a chronic condition.
I realize that I must choose the ways that I spend my energy wisely and lately that focus has shifted to doing things that bring me joy and are going to rejuvenate my energy, rather then drag it down.
It also reminds me that it’s OK to ask for help, because I truly cannot do it all.
On the Positive Side?
Who knew that the to-do list I wrote tonight would be such a revelation into how I really put too much pressure on myself to do it all, then feel guilty when it is not all done.
I realize tonight that instead of all the to-do’s I need to-be.
I think that I’m going to start writing out a “done” list – in celebration of what I did accomplish today, instead of beating myself up for all that is still on the list.
What about you… do you relate to the thoughts of just having too much to do? Do you schedule in time for rest and relaxation?
I’ve love to hear from you…