I started writing to-do lists again. Why? Because most days I feel like I don’t come close to getting done all that I want to.
So…I write out all the things that I need to get done, all that takes up space in my mind.
And I’ve noticed that it’s always such a long list!
I wrote one out tonight with over ten items on it – to be done in the four hours I have from work to bed. Ha. I set the list aside and after three hours I only had two items crossed off… and my body was beat.
I think I can do it all.
I admit that this past month I’ve let a lot of habits slip – habits that are a key part of my self-care needs.
And I’m feeling it tonight.
After reviewing that long list all I wanted to do was lie down with my heating pad.
My body hurt.
And this started to frustrate me. I had so much to get done. Don’t break down on me today.
This brought up a wave of emotions.
I had a thought earlier today (before I wrote the long list) that I needed to take time to relax. My period is only days away. This is a vulnerable time – to slow down.
Regardless of this thought, there was something missing from the list: rest and relaxation.
It all comes down to choices doesn’t it?
I felt all those choices I made to “cheat” with the food that went into my body, all the times I chose a social media session over taking time for meditation, or stayed up late working on a project, instead of giving my body much needed rest.
And you know… the choice to lie down is fine.
Yes the grass is long and full of weeds. Yes the shelves are dusty. Yes the dishes and laundry are piling up. I learned tonight that sometimes the best choice is to turn away from the mess.
It really isn’t the end of the world when it doesn’t all get done 🙂
The Spoon Theory
I couldn’t help but relate this experience to The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino. The visual “spoon” explanation makes it easier to convey to others the physical, exhaustive consequences of living with a chronic condition.
I realize that I must choose the ways that I spend my energy wisely and lately that focus has shifted to doing things that bring me joy and are going to rejuvenate my energy, rather then drag it down.
It also reminds me that it’s OK to ask for help, because I truly cannot do it all.
On the Positive Side?
Who knew that the to-do list I wrote tonight would be such a revelation into how I really put too much pressure on myself to do it all, then feel guilty when it is not all done.
I realize tonight that instead of all the to-do’s I need to-be.
I think that I’m going to start writing out a “done” list – in celebration of what I did accomplish today, instead of beating myself up for all that is still on the list.
What about you… do you relate to the thoughts of just having too much to do? Do you schedule in time for rest and relaxation?
I’ve love to hear from you…
Much Love,
Aubree
You know, I needed this and had the same ending a few days ago. We are moving from Texas to Oklahoma in two weeks. (700 miles)…. we still have a lot of packing and cleaning to do on top of regular 40 work week and normal life stresses. It took a nervous break down (the first day of my period) after 2 restless nights to realize, I NEED TO RELAX! I need to ask my husband for help and let him when he tries. I am not wonder woman, even though I want to be. I am human, and mostly I am a human that NEEDS to recognize when to slow down. Thanks for the post,
Hi Sara – moving is so stressful and very physical. I can definitely understand the overwhelm there. It is hard to relax when we have so much to do, but if we don’t do it then we end up making things worse in the long run. I suffered through a horrible first day of my period today, which I relate to the slippage of my self-care routines. That pain was enough to wake me up again – rest and relaxation must be implemented. Good luck on your move.
I’ve become quite adept at letting go of things that aren’t important. I came across the spoon theory about a year ago and I operate on that basis and try to put myself first and the washing up last. If I do it the other way around I end up in trouble.
Have you ever come across mind maps by Tony Buzan? When I think I have too much to do and feel overwhelmed I find a simple mind map better than a linear ‘to do’ list. It doesn’t reduce the amount of things to do but I find the different perspective less overwhelming and better ordered. I can ‘see’ everything and it feels less daunting. It has elements of a visualisation board.
A saying I use is “make a plan then simplify it” and I say it frequently. This helps me eliminate things that I can get away with not doing. When I was planning our wedding I made a huge list of everything I could think of. Then I just gradually cut out all the things that were not necessary and ended up with something simple. The woman at the venue said she’d never seen anyone do it that way around. She said everyone starts off simple and then adds in things that overcomplicate…and increase the price and the stress! I do the same at work to prevent myself from trying to be perfect which is a terrible waste of time and energy.
I like the idea of a ‘done’ list. Everyone needs to do that! People seldom consider all they have achieved and tend to focus on the things they haven’t done.
Hi CB – thank you as always for your wonderful insights. I will check out the book. My classic hormonal shifts around my period and ovulation almost always bring with it overwhelm. I have to force myself to relax. I think that I need to find clarity on my focus and ignore the whispers of my ego that say that I need to do it all. I struggle asking for help and usually wait until I’m bitchy to say something, so it doesn’t always come out right, LOL.