In this beautiful month of June I’ll be featuring inspiring stories of fellow endo sisters on their journey to find Peace with Endo. I’m super excited to share this with you.
It continues with Jess’ story. Check it out below.
My name is Jess Godden, age 40. I am married to a wonderful man named Nathan. I am also an incredibly blessed mum of two: Alfie, age 13 and Coco, age 11. That was a journey in itself, but that story is for another day!
I will say, however, that I count my blessings every day. I understand the pain and desperation of feeling unable to conceive. It took me to the very edge of myself.
I have thought long and hard before putting my story here, but I have committed to telling a true story of the disease, so that part of my story may help others.
As I have said before, this is not a sympathy plea, but for awareness purely for raw and honest information!
Well this is a story that sadly for so many of us rings true.
I was led to believe that I was going mad.
So, from the age of 10 my symptoms began, and when I say began, I mean more like hit me like a train!
I went from a happy, go lucky child to a young woman trying to manage hormones, life, school, parents and a chronic disease over night!
I was terrified of my own body… And the pain.
There was zero understanding or knowledge. I was hospitalized more times than I can count for pain management.
I was led to believe that I was going mad, that there was nothing wrong with me, and that period pain was normal.
“I would have to get used to it.”
You can imagine what that could do to a child’s mental health, let alone the effect it has had going into adulthood.
The feeling of being trapped in a body that you can’t escape, with no one to lean on or offer advice, feelings of self-loathing and self-hate, like I had deserved this somehow, that I was not good enough.
Finally a diagnosis, but that was only the beginning
It took nine long years, a suicide attempt, self-harm and years of self-medicating on alcohol and drugs just to forget, before I finally got a diagnosis, and even then the lack of compassion or understanding of the disease in the medical sector that I experienced was quite frankly unacceptable.
The thought that my daughter or anyone would have to go through just a day of that overwhelms me with sadness and is one of the main reasons why I write this today.
I had adenomyosis and polycystic ovaries too. So, for years I never had the full picture of my diagnosis. I only really got the full extent when I finally had a hysterectomy (where I nearly died, I may add) December 2015, age 37.
Finally a full diagnosis by a doctor took 27 years!
A journey of mind, body & soul
Even after all of that, I know that there is hope. You just need to take the first steps.
Mindset in my world is everything, and if that is not right, the battle will continue. The roller coaster will still feel out of control.
Having endo and even a hysterectomy has inspired me to find a way to listen to my body in ways that have enabled me to cope.
Instead of searching for the answers that the doctors just don’t know, I have taken responsibility to finding my own way, trying things for myself and figuring out what works for my body.
Has it been hard? Yes.
But has it been worth it? Yes!
Have I felt frustrated? Yes.
Have I fallen off the rails and delved into eating the wrong things and feeling helpless? Did I doubt myself and my ability to heal? Yes, at times.
This has been a journey about mind, body and soul and I have had a lot to fix.
I am holding the cards.
I can honestly say that I am now in the best place that I could possibly be at this time, but have I finished my story, my journey to healing and self-discovery? No.
I will continue with it and sharing it so that hopefully I help others along my way.
I feel in control, like I am holding the cards.
I still get bad days, but the good are longer in-between, and the way I react to them is now totally different.
The body, mind and soul, in my opinion, are a whole. Every area needs balance and care. There is no possible way to heal yourself any other way.
Integrating holistic ways
I have slowly integrated more and more holistic ways into my life that I have found nutrition and supplements to be a game changer.
I have now found so many things that help me: yoga, walking, serving others, reading, meditation, journaling, being creative, walking my dog, SELF LOVE, learning to breathe, and going to the beach.
I am lucky enough to live not far and it really is my happy place.
And of course family time!
Advice for Endo Sisters
You can do this. There is hope.
Taking 100% responsibility for one’s health through self-care, holistic practice and education is empowering, giving you a sense of freedom that you thought you had lost!
Get yourself a support network for sure. I mostly managed (or didn’t) myself initially and that was sooo hard. Now there are so many online support groups.
My advice would be search and speak and learn and find one that suits or soul’s calling.
Take advantage of this world of information, global connection and work out what your body needs to heal.
Admit that needing that support is no weakness.
Listen to your body… get to know it!
And do your freaking research. Don’t take people’s word for it. Know your shit. It’s yours. Make it count.
Look after your mind, soul and body. It is never too late.
Learn to love yourself and your body again.
Learning from each other
As I write this, this confirms to me the path that I have decided to take.
Helping people (endo or no endo) learn to love themselves, to take time for self care, nutrition, growth and to nurture their soul’s desire is my passion.
The fact that so many of us that have lived through this want to share and help others is such an amazing movement.
I embrace you all. I hope from my soul that our journey’s and experience help some of you find a quicker and easier path.
Feel free to connect with me. If I can help you with any advice or support I know the feeling of isolation that living with chronic illness can bring.