I did a visionary exercise last month for the last quarter of 2018. I tapped into my third eye consciousness and noted what came up for the last three months of the year.
What I saw for October was me flying a kite, but the pull from the force of it was enough to lift me from my feet. I could barely hold on.
Next I saw a bubble of hot red lava coming up from the earth.
I interpreted the images as a need for grounding in October.
This message certainly isn’t new to me. I’ve been working on grounding myself for the past couple of years.
I have a tendency to get lost in my upper chakras, lost in my thoughts, and not so into experiencing my life down in my body that can bring pain.
Next I heard a clear message that I wrote down – Go Bigger.
I felt an opening in my crown chakra and an image of a high-five came through. My intuitive interpretation of that was a need for spiritual partnerships.
Little did I know then the significance of these images and just how much of an upheaval October would bring… yet again.
October has a history of shaking things up in a big way.
Have you felt it too?
The month started with a brave professor sharing a past assault experience in front of the nation.
Listening to her and all the aftermath that followed triggered within me issues of safety and security especially when speaking up about past trauma.
The energy from that was intense. I surely wasn’t the only one triggered.
Shortly thereafter my sweet five-year-old dog Einstein was diagnosed with a mast cell tumor on his leg. Einstein is my family. I spend more time with him over any other being.
Family is another root issue. Not to mention the fact that his tumor was on his leg, the area of the root chakra.
I too have struggled with leg pain for the past six months or so. There were times when the pain was maddening. I did visualization work to try and release some of it. My visuals were of me cutting the pain out.
The mirror visualization showed up on Einstein after surgery, which left him with a long gaping cut on the back of his leg, as I imagined it would look for me to cut out the pain.
I hated watching his struggle and whimpers in pain. My leg throbbed along with his, worse than ever, showing up in a line of bruises down my calf.
Shortly thereafter our little gecko Speedy passed away after a long life of 20+ years. I watched him suffer for months and on his last day he flipped over onto his back, his legs up in the air, in a moment of surrender.
Even though he was upside down, he looked right at me. It broke my heart.
He died later that night and my husband Ryan burned his body in a makeshift fire pit in our backyard underneath the season’s first snowfall.
Shifts in season. Broken earth. Burning.
We received news that the tumor on Einstein’s leg was a low grade one and since it was completely excised it should be gone. Rejoice. Time for the upswing.
Except the foundation shook further when I was laid off from my day job a week ago.
I entered a state of shock. What am I going to do now?
I lost sleep for many nights as it felt like the world was giving way beneath me. My salary provided the foundation for our financial well being, yet another factor of the root chakra space.
I sought out further guidance on what to do and was told over and over to get still and listen.
Trust your inner guidance. Trust your inner wisdom. You have all the answers you need inside.
That’s great and all, but not the advice my practical mind needs. It felt like my energy was spinning, not sure where to put focus.
But I couldn’t deny the fact that the push is what I’ve been needing.
I’m not sure what’s to come, but I’m doing my best to have faith that all will work out.
I’ve followed the guidance I’ve received and spent a lot of time in meditation, getting still, and listening.
I’ve opened myself up to receive all the good to come.
On the Positive Side?
I’ve relished in the warm autumn days we’ve been having now that Einstein is able to walk outside again.
His leg is healing and mine has been bothering me less and less.
Sometimes change is needed and if you don’t do it, other forces do. Truth be told I wasn’t expanding much where I was. I was stuck.
Part of me is grateful for the release, but the control freak in me wants to know what’s next.
I do believe that my soul’s primary lesson on this earth is to learn how to release, let go, surrender. It’s a constant struggle for the controlling side of me.
I think this is why most of my issues have shown up in the sacral pelvic space, which is governed by a fear of losing control.
This does seem to be another lesson.
So, I take a deep breath and let it go.