It was the week before the total lunar eclipse last month and my emotions were all over the place. I fell into a sink of darkness and negative thoughts rang through my mind.
Those thoughts lingered with self-defeating feelings of failure. Doubt. Exhaustion.
Many of these emotions came to the surface as I put finishing touches on my new book, Energetics of Endo. I picked up the paperback proof to read my story again.
Synchronicity shows often in the book and as I re-read it during that emotionally turbulent time I had to pause in awe.
The story and emotions were playing out again in the present! And it was only days before a powerful eclipse sought to release old energies.
Greater soul lessons to be learned…
This A-HA moment served as a reminder to the mirroring effect of life and the lessons that are presented in the energy exchange that happens in this human existence.
I believe we each have greater soul lessons to learn in our time here on earth. That lesson repeats and repeats until it is learned and that energy is transformed.
It was the same soul story I wrote in the book showing up again in the present. Echoing. Repeating.
Pain is the greatest teacher. That pain’s not always only physical. There are emotional factors that come into play with endometriosis as well.
Emotions are energy.
The greatest lessons that this life with endometriosis has taught me are the continued practice of letting go and feeling how I feel.
Lots of tears came through this process and I released more words in poetry form, to help transform the overwhelming emotional energy in the present.
Physically releasing emotional energy
The day following the eclipse I felt an emotional release happen, as if a weight had finally been lifted. Released.
Then I got sick.
Gunk filled up my lungs as my heart spaced ached physically with each cough my body made to clear the mucus out.
Exhaustion filtered through.
I think I was physically releasing some of that muck in my heart space that had come the surface by exploring the past, re-reading the story of my soul, and fearing what others will think when I let it out into the world.
The emotional release was physically coming out of my body.
The answers are within.
I was guided to write Energetics of Endo and now more than ever I understand why. I needed to release the story.
The first step to that came in writing it. The writing process helped me heal when the darkness took hold.
Now that my soul story and deeper lessons I’ve learned from a life of pain are complied, I’m able to remember it all here in the present.
As I re-read my words again and again the repetition engraves them in, with hope that I can change the pattern.
As the darkness threatened to take over, I found the answers yet again within myself, written before me.
That’s the power in writing things out. There is beauty when the truth comes through from that higher part of your Self.
On the positive side?
My words helped pull me back to the light. I saved myself.
I hope by releasing them out to the world that they help you too.